"Our communities and movements must address the issue of access. There is no way around it. Accessibility is concrete resistance to the isolation of disabled people. Accessibility is nothing new, and we can work to understand access in a broad way, encompassing class, language, childcare, gender-neutral bathrooms as a start.
We must, however, move beyond access by itself. We cannot allow the liberation of disabled people to be boiled down to logistics. We must understand and practice an accessibility that moves us closer to justice, not just inclusion or diversity..."
but people really do stuff like this, like, a lot.
My advice? DON'T. DO. STUFF. LIKE. THIS!!!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
And here we are back at the beginning.
Action Item 1: include access info. If you can get past that one item when organizing and promoting your events, and do it regularly, accurately, with intention? i just may well show up. Otherwise? It ain't happening. Ultimately, it's a numbers game, people: If you want more folks in your community to show up, make it possible for more folks in your community to show up.
Or at least be straight up about who is invited and who isn't. Honesty and intent ain't everything lol, but it can be a start. If i know that your intent is to invite more folks, i'm more likely to work with you on how i think we can make that happen. If, over the course of several claims of "but we intended...!", your event is not increasingly accessible, and there are negligible-to-no attempts to actually address it? Then no, i'm not going to attend and/or promote your event. Please, don't ask this gimp to promote actively nonaccessible events.
But if i see that change is happening, i can totally work with that, add whatever time and resources i may have to help out, and be part of moving forward. But it takes working together on it, and the very first thing you can do is include the access info you now have. One step at a time, folks.
[IMAGE: a section of my silver aluminum forearm crutch. The vinyl sticker on it has a black background with large white courier font which reads "one less car." In the background is a pillow i made out of this fabulous multi-shade green circle fabric :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
An anti-government protester in a wheelchair is carried above the crowd during a demonstration in Tahrir Square, Cairo, Egypt, Friday, Feb. 4, 2011. The Egyptian military guarded thousands of protesters pouring into Cairo's main square on Friday in an attempt to drive out President Hosni Mubarak after a week and half of pro-democracy demonstrations. (AP photo)
Friday, February 4, 2011
[UPDATE: never figured out what happened, but i think ive gotten most of it back, though i know there are gaps. i just cant remember some stuff! if theres something you think i should check out, drop me a line here!]
In slightly less freaked out mode lol, my blogroll has disappeared. Don' t know what's up with that, but i'm pissed! It took ages to find all that great stuff :( Sigh. Anyways, i'm going to try to work it out.
Over the years i've experienced a wide range of what i consider bullying as a gimp, and let me tell you, it runs from the hilarious to surreal to really fricken scary. Anything from comments about how it (my disability) is "just so sad!" and "just such a waste!", to "when i see you, i feel so fortunate!" and "you're really inspirational!", to "you're a useless piece of shit" and being shoved and hit and otherwise physically intimidated and messed with. This shit is real, it does serious damage to folks, and the more resources that're available to help folks deal with it and/or to expose/deal with their bullying ways the better!
One thing about being the kind of gimp i am, is that i need to plan in advance and sometimes have to cancel plans. It sucks, all around. i've spent time figuring out how to deal with the reality of that, including how it impacts others.
My main goals are: to not harsh myself out with guilt or shame or embarrassment, and to remember that it's disappointing for other folks too. But how to do that, to balance that, in a world that constantly says you've got to be able to "gogogo!"?
It's a dilemma!
i go through frustration and other feelings around this to varying degrees, and until more recently, had a lot of angst about it. i don't want to disappoint, but don't want to injure myself, don't want to slowly lose the connection to friends and community that grows the more you hang out. Would folks eventually just stop making plans with me? Would everyone double-book, just in case?
i understand that it can be disappointing and frustrating to make plans that sometimes (or often) don't materialize, and so i want to bear that in mind, and be sensitive to that. i also recognize that my body does what it does, and when it's telling me to slow down, if i don't listen i can be in serious trouble. Like the kind of trouble where i can't get out of bed. As someone who is often able to get out of bed, that shit can be really scary. The kind of trouble where my pain level is so beyond management. The kind that makes it so i can't hang with anyone, let alone go out and sit in a cafe or do crafts or shake my ass.
Part of what has helped me chill out about it is that so many of my friends are also gimps, in hugely various ways, or have other chronic health stuff going on. There have been times i've felt frustration about the ongoing canceled plans, for sure. i needed to acknowledge that to myself, and then check it.
Maybe some tips? If you have a friend who cancels plans because of disability stuff, it's ok to be frustrated or sad about that, definitely. i think it's important to be able to talk about it with each other. But there's a real fine line between sharing your feelings and dumping them. As folks with disabilities, we sometimes deal with incredibly disagreeable bodies, bodies that can make us frustrated and pissed off too.The last thing we need is more shame and guilt about that. i'd prefer folks not beat around the bush with me, but be honest about feeling disappointed, and then work together to find alternatives (which is not the same as offering "helpful advice" about how i should be dealing with my body, in case that's not clear!).
One example: a friend and i had planned a dinner together at her house. On the day, i knew i wouldn't be able to get up her stairs and thought we'd have to reschedule. But instead, she suggested and i agreed to made up a picnic basket and have dinner in the park :) It was such a simple thing, but meant a lot to me, because she worked with me and my body in a way that didn't make it all about what my body couldn't do. She found a way to help us accommodate my needs, while keeping our plans. And it turned out to be heaps of fun :)
If folks are open to it, come up with other possibilities. There are so many ways to work with the bodies we've got. On days i can't move much, the reality is i'm not really up for many adventures. It means i'm dealing with a heightened level of pain and probably also agitation. Company ain't always the best idea lol. But sometimes it really is the best thing. Work together to figure out what's going to work for your particular situation, and i really believe that frustration, disappointment and loss of a sense of community can decrease, and new adventures can be had for everyone involved.
xox
Monday, January 31, 2011
i'm less a "build it and they will come" kind of person as i am a "come and fucking build it" person. Slight word difference, hugely different outcomes.
Creating accessible spaces are a ground floor affair, in all ways. You can't just say (as has been said to me so often as a gimp, usually by temporarily able bodied folk) "if you want X, if you're not seeing X, make X!". Sounds good. Sounds empowering even. Sure! Let's make it happen!
Thing is? When all or most of the spaces in which one might hope to find or create X are inaccessible, those spaces cannot contain/celebrate/what have you, X.
So, the answer for me is not simply and only for X to create new X spaces, because really, not many of us have the ability or resources to do that in all instances. And it's not simply a matter of X showing up and saying "fuckit! We're here!" That does happen, and when it does i think that's amazing and is something i actively support (by giving what money i can to sustain it, by volunteering, spreading the word far and wide, showing up, etc.)
But it's also about working together with what we've got, working together to change the status quo. And "if you want X, if youre not seeing X, make X!" rarely seems to cover that. Stripped down, it tends to be more a "stop 'complaining' and do something!" than it is an invite to fundamentally change the way we view spaces and communities and who has the right to be there and how we're going to make that happen. Which is, in case it wasn't clear, what i prefer.
i prefer it because it means i stand a better chance of going to things, of accessing parts of my communities. And it means that others have increased option for doing the same.
Which is the whole point to me.
-------------------------------------- Reality check: i try to balance that with the reality i happen to live, which is that, in general? There aint a whole bunch of people showing up to do this work, consistently. And the reality that many gimps where i live (extrapolable most places) are living on the barest minimums financially due to government "assistance", or no help whatsoever, which renders people fucked. And i balance it all with living in a culture that is still so mired in ableism. -------------------------------------
Anyways, instead of "don't see X? Make X!", how about "hey, we're not findig X, how can we actively work together to change that?" Mhm. Sounds good.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Accessibilities information is really important to me as a disabled person. It gives me the opportunity to decide for myself the degree of involvement i can or would like to have with an event, organization, whatever. It puts the power in my hands to make informed choices about what i do with my body, and that shit is priceless.
Having accessibilities information on your events is key, and not just when you know your event is super accessible. It's critical, for example, that you not indicate your shindig is accessible when it is actually not. Seems simple, but it happens all the time. It makes a difference to me whether there are 2 or 20 steps, whether the bathroom is big enough for me to move around in, whether it will be a scent reduced or scent free event. It matters to my friends and i if your event has childcare, is on a bus route (and whether or not there will be bus tokens available), whether its trans friendly and elder friendly. It matters to me that if there are couches provided in addition to folding chairs, that people know those couches are for fat accessibility and others who require that kind of seating. Its important to indicate whether there will be sign language interpretation. It's important to know that folks who do not have legal documentation will be safe in the space. And so on. So many things are important.
It's important that the information you provide is accurate and up to date. There's not much that pisses me off more than arriving at a space billed as accessible only to discover it's not. And no you wont give me my money back. And no you cant carry me up the stairs. And, well, no, i will not be returning. If you think its a pain to gather all this info, try to imagine what its like when time and again, you have to face a wall of stairs when youve been promised none, or been promised you can comfortably take a piss when in fact you couldnt even fit in the stalls provided. Its all about perspective, folks.
So when you know the information, SHARE IT. If you dont yet know the info, FIND OUT. If you dont know how to go about it, ASK THOSE WHO DO. If someone comes to you and requests a change because of accessibility, WORK IT OUT.
Thats what makes communities stronger, more resilient and able to face the barrage of bullshit that the state visits on us at every turn.
i really like this article about when friends get jealous of folks who are on disability benefits. ive had many folks express a sense of envy, jealousy, etc because im on benefits and apparently have all this freedom to do as i please, all this free time, this life of leisure. i really wish they could understand that this is not a privilege, it is a basic survival thing. i have no other options. i have no room to move, to play with it, have no prospects for anything different, no movement. i would gladly work at a job. but i cant. i would gladly do what my parents and their parents and theirs before did, and work at something to earn a living in this messed up system, if it meant i could do it without living with this pain. But i cant. So yeah. Please dont talk to me about being jealous of this. As this article says: "there’s nothing going on with them that you want for yourself."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
This isn't a feel-good blog. There are no sparkles and rainbows for you to slide down to find disabled people in a little accessible pot o' gold, farting sequins and love for you. It's also not exactly just a pissy blog either, not all the time. But it's honest, and hopefully provides some information that you can use in the real world. And that makes a difference in mine and the lives of other folks who need things to change, like ASAP. And i'm good with that. i just want us to keep learning and re-learning this stuff, and adapting as things change. i do this kind of work because it's the right thing to do, for me, for my communities, not because i imagine everything will be amazing some day. It may never change substantially in my lifetime. As a gimp, i'm not fooling myself. i know this stuff is hard, and if i sat around waiting for the big payoff i'd lose my shit. So i keep writing, agitating, rebuilding, tearing down and building again, advocating and creating change, big, little, whatever. The more the merrier! So, in the words of Inga Muscio, let's "get it the fuck on!"
Here's something i'd like my non-disabled friends, lovers, comrades, community members to think about:
Your ability to behave as though accessibility isn't really a big deal, or that it's a big deal but not something you really need to concern yourself with, is based purely in your privileged position within an ableist society.
If you've known me any length of time, you've known that accessibility is important. There's just no getting around that. The degree to which you allow yourself to integrate that fact into your actions is directly correlated to the degree to which an ableist society values the voices of disabled folks, which is to say, not a lot.
Think about that: the voices of disabled folks (which, if you've known me for any length of time includes mine) are not valued or prioritized in any meaningful way in this society. You access that fact, whether realizing it or not, every day, in countless ways.
Which means, whether or not you realize it, whether or not you like it, you are tapping into ENabled privilege in a way that directly impacts the lives of people with disabilities. That's definitely not some personal indictment, just a fact of living in this society.
The fact is that you've more than likely encountered more than just me talking about accessibility. If it's in the local kink community, i know this for sure, because kinky gimps have been speaking out about accessibility at kink events for a very, very long time. Friends, lovers, comrades, we speak about it, we bring it up on websites, we talk about it at meetings (if they're accessible to us), we talk about it over coffee, breakfast, and before/after sex and/or play. We are indeed talking about it.
But again, the degree to which the information penetrates is directly correlated to the degree to which disabled voices are valued in this society, which is to say not a lot.
So i want folks to think more deeply about what it means for example to give accessibility information about your events without having to always be prompted by folks with disabilities to do it. i want you to think about how your actions affect PWD on a daily basis. How it impacts our access to what are supposed to be our communities, and how that lack of access hinders growth on so many levels, for everyone.
i also want people to be more creative about it! We have such an incredible community! Talented on so many levels, resourceful, creative, thoughtful, diverse. i want more folks to think (and DO!) more about who gets to be here. i want people's actions to challenge dominant notions about who gets to be here, to turn up the proverbial (and literal!) volume on gimp voices for a change by working on cutting down your own background noise.
What are you doing, right now, to turn down your own racket? What do you need to help you do that more often? Are there disabled members of your community who have been silenced, drowned out or passed over in discussions about space and community? i guarantee even if you can't think of any, they're there. What would it take for you to reach out? What do you think would be positives for the larger community if that happened consistently?
i don't need nor am i interested in Health At Every Size. As a disabled person who is identified daily by sighted folks as disabled i will never have that. And i refuse to get solidarity for myself on the backs of other disabled folks, or on the backs of other fatties who do not tow the "healthy" line. i mean, i don't tow that line, but generally i can get away with a certain level of shit because i am considered to be a "smaller" fatty. Do you know what i mean? i mean that i often have some wiggle room as a smaller fatty, a little more freedom, a little less staring when i eat in public (depending on what i'm eating and how excited i am about that), a little less judgment, etc than many of my bigger friends face, certainly when they and i are together and people can compare us (eg "they're both disgusting, but at least he's[sic] not THAT fat!"). This affords me time and space to do and be in ways that some of my friends and lovers and comrades simply cant take for granted. i know this, i understand it. i fight against giving in to it. i refuse to allow it to bring other fatties down because it is apparently somehow useful as a tool to elevate me.
i am also not interested in Fat Acceptance. i dont want to be accepted, or tolerated. i want to be respected, i want to be understood, i want to be left the fuck alone. i want to be celebrated and crooned over and smothered in kisses; on and on til i forget what it was ever like to be spit on, to be yelled at from passing cars, to be sneered and gawked at, to have every fucking thing that ever went wrong with my body attributed to my fat (and yes, even as a smaller fatty and as someone who others now perceive to be a dude, all of this is what i get, particularly living in one of the most fatphobic cities on the north american continent). i want to be covered, and when or if i'm so covered in kisses that i can forget that feeling of shame and hurt and embarrassment and anger even for a moment, i will remember that this shit is all contextual, and that in 5 minutes i'll get it again, and i will remember that other people in my life are still and always feeling it, and i will smother them with kisses (literal and/or figurative, as they may desire) and i will respect, understand, respect desires for solitude, celebrate and croon the fuck over them.
How can fatties be at peace in this world if/when we be at peace on the backs of other fatties? How can we look ourselves in the mirror, or imagine ourselves in our hearts, when we are so busy gawking at other fatties? At finger-pointing, at comparing, at judging, at disrespecting each other? How can you know in your heart that i wish to be in solidarity with you when and if my behaviour tells you something else? How can you know (and how can it be so) the depth of my love and respect when and if i prove myself over and over to throw you under the bus every time it gets overheated?
The only way i can be in true solidarity with you, and you with me, is to honour, listen, act, with dignity, respect, compassion, humility, to shut the fuck up, to leave alone, to show up, and yes to smother with kisses (literal and/or figurative) when desired, and to move forward together. That's what i commit to, every day, and that is why this fatty doesn't "accept" you and doesn't want you to "accept" me; doesn't want "health" at every size; but instead understands in the deepest corners of this cavernous heart that you, me, us, we, are fucking perfect in every way possible, precisely because you are, not because of what you can prove to me, not because of what you could be, not because of how well you fit into fatphobic framing of what a worthwhile existence should be, but because you are, right now, you, we, us.
There is something incredibly powerful about you, we, us, no?
OK. So. If you're disabled and identified as such by sighted folks*, can we talk? i would love to do some kind of project with you, a photo project, or video, or writing, or audio, or a combination, or some other form altogether? i cant photograph or film my way out of a wet paper bag lol, but know folks who can, some of whom are also gimps.
i'd love to have more (any?) things i can look at and be like, "huh, that actually reflects something that looks like me, in ways i'd want to be reflected". What sorts of things have you gotten to partake in, either as a participant or observer, that made you think "shit. we need more of this"? Ya know, representation and all.
* i.e. "visibly disabled"[sic] i hate how that's always couched in such ENabled terms! i don't know how to get away from it being centred on what sighted folks perceive, while getting my point across. There are times i do projects with a bigger base of connection than this, and there must be a better way of thinking/talking about this, but there's something to it, something about being identified as a gimp out there, in the day-to-day, that has some very different meaning to me than when i wasn't being identified that way. There are a whole bunch of things to deal with, and i really want something that talks about that, but with other folks too!
