permanence...

So i want to talk about permanence, such as it is.

"Permanent", "disabling", "degenerative".

These are some of the words people use to describe my condition. (Some others are: "tragic!!!", "such a waste!" and my favourite "it's because you're paying for what you did in a past life!")

 

Anyways look, i'm a gimp. i've been a gimp a long time, and i will, as it turns out, always be a gimp. There is no cure for what i have, and it's only going to get worse. It's hard to acknowledge that. Like, on a core level, it's hard. The first time i said that out loud to myself i wept to be so fucked with. And in amongst all my gimp pride and solidarity, i still have a good cry about it on occasion. i'm still pissed about it, and it still gets in the way of me doing some things that're good for my body. But there it is: i will always be disabled.

For our purposes today with this brief post, that means that, yes, i will always be bringing up accessibility issues in my communities. So you may as well get a sandwich and a nice cup of tea, put on yer coziest jammies and take a load off, because this shit isn't changing. Just like i've been doing for years: Get used to me asking about it when you organize something. Get used to me providing the info for you when you don't or can't. Get used to me calling you out when you pull some assy move around it. i'm not going anywhere.

i don't have the privilege of not needing to know this stuff. i will always be physically disabled, and that will always be a part of how i navigate my communities. If you and i are fucking, playing, loving up all over each other, roomates, teammates, volunteer together, enjoy going for a coffee to shoot the shit, deep longterm friends or new found connections, no matter, this will always be a part of it. 

And if you're not used to it, don't let it stress you out lol. It doesn't have to be a huge deal for you (because really? it isn't). Just roll with me when i ask for it, just respond with solidarity when i can't, and we'll be cool. If you also deal with this reality in yer life, what does it mean for both of us together? How do we navigate different kinds of permanence in an ultimately impermanent world?

Questions questions!