Letting go

So, i'm in the process of putting together a little "toolkit" that people can use to assist in doing the accessibility audits i've been doing. It's time to begin more actively letting them go. I've been doing more audits with other folks, and people are keen. In some ways it's hard to let them go, if that makes sense? But i also want to let them go, because that's the whole purpose of them! Getting the info out there, having more people involved in the process, and recognizing that accessibility isn't just one thing, these things are all super important to me, and is the major reason i began doing these.

But i want to find ways to have some "quality control" (i can see myself in a little lab coat with a stamp like the Fruit Of The Loom QC person) too, because it actually is important that it not just be a block of random information without context or supporting info, but useful, usable, accurate and up-to-date information. Organic, ongoing, adaptable, y'know?

So far i've got a summary of what it's all about; the templates for the audit, the overview, and the text i've been posting with them online; the methods i use to designate final accessibility ratings; and offering recommendations to venues and event holders. Do you think other things would be helpful for you if you're thinking about doing these audits? What sorts of supports, if any, would you find useful? 

I'm also thinking about picking a venue and taking a "field trip" with a bunch of interested folks and us all doing a practice run of the whole process. Contact, scheduling and performing the audit, followup, creating the final online products, including the overview and other pieces. i want to think about all the stages, and see if there are gaps folks would like to fill, and how, and what sorts of resources might help folks move forward with doing these on their own.

As well, i want to do some personal work on letting go and recognizing that the final products will not all look the way my final product looks, and that that's ok. It's hard when you've been working on something for so long, something which is also wrapped up in a lot of personal lived experience as a disabled person. This isn't a "project" for me, or a hobby, and when i see people treating accessibility that way, it kind of pisses me off, because one day they're in, the next day they're out. But i need to work on not allowing that able-bodied-centredness to dictate the work i do as a gimp. Lifeswork, i tell ya!

Thanks for everyone who is helping in some way, expressed interest in and done audits with me, posted the audits for events, sent folks my way to get an audit done, and so on. Onward! :)

Auditing and sharing and auditing and sharing...

So, a little math. In 3 years, ive done 51 accessibility audits. At an average of 5 hours work each, plus approximately 1-2 hours per audit on communication alone --and that's not including the work i do to upgrade the audit template, to research trends in access, to learn about and integrate technologies & services, update my access blog with new audits (which i'm sadly running behind on, ahem), as well as updating existing audits with new info and so on-- that makes around 331.5 hours since starting them in 2009. At least a hundred hours per year. With all that other stuff i've not included, add another 30 or so hours/year.  And i'm not even going to try to calculate how many dozens of hours i've spent subtitling 86 videos lol. Perhaps that's a future math project!


Even though there's frustratingly little in the way of monetary or trade payback, and even though it can be hard on my body, i really love doing these things. Aside from satiating my strange need to fill out forms, the info is important to me personally, and to folks i care about and folks i don't even know, so that we can more freely get into and enjoy the fabulous spaces so many other folks have such easy access to. And there's so much to learn about this stuff! Every time i do one, by myself or with other folks, i learn some new piece to add or point to change; and it also helps me to open myself up more to sharing my needs with folks who aren't gimps, which can be really exposing; or folks who are gimped in different ways than i am. It keeps me up on my shit too -- there are so many things i dont know, havent thought of, wouldn't even have considered. 


So when people tell me accessibility is as simple as putting a ramp in (don't get me wrong, ramps are great! i need em and love em!), i'd love to hand them one of these nearly 400-point audits and then chat about it over coffee --and sometimes that happens :) maybe i'll share a post on that sometime -- because we all have work to do, things to learn, we all make awesome contributions, and we all make a difference simply by doing the things we love and sharing them. 

REACH Community Health Centre Audit

The accessibilities audit of the REACH Community Health Centre was performed on December 22nd 2011 by the Radical Access Mapping Project, for the All Genders Wellness Centre. Learn more about the AGWC here:
http://www.allgenderswellness.com/All_Genders_Wellness_Centre/About_Us/About_Us.html

You can learn more about the Mapping Project and find other audited spaces here
http://buildingradicalaccessiblecommunities.blogspot.com/p/accessibilities-audits.html

If you would like a space audited, or have questions about accessibilities in general, please contact rampvancouver@gmail.com and let's talk!

REACH CHC Accessibilities Overview
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18RIa0lK8c0oCyIafIvufV2fRqQYM3ID4L_5AFqoBR58/edit

REACH CHC Full Accessibilities Audit
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkEveutSlMoVdGNkNGJOUENrRk1OX3k0eXRzY2Vtanc

M2M Vancouver steambaths Audit

This accessibilities audit of M2M Vancouver steambaths was performed on March 1st 2012 by the Radical Access Mapping Project, with assistance from the good folks at sTeam: Bathhouse For All Gender.

You can find out more about sTeam by visiting their website at [http://steambathhouse.com/homepage/]
You can get more details about M2M here [http://m2mvancouver.com/]

You can learn more about the Mapping Project, and find other audited spaces here:
[http://buildingradicalaccessiblecommunities.blogspot.com/p/accessibilities-audits.html]

If you would like a space audited, or have questions about accessibilities in general, please contact rampvancouver@gmail.com and let's talk!

M2M Accessibilities Overview:
[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d0lqrVxdFTIr-FjlRySB2I1M2etGdWK7hhSsoduG5as/edit

M2M Full Accessibilities Audit:
[https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkEveutSlMoVdDZ3b3Fld3JGNUxlQ1plT1ZmQUVpV2c]

Here is a photo of the rear entrance of M2M, where you'll find the wheelchair lift:

[image: a black painted back metal double door with no handles, the right wall is black brick; there is a partial view of the alleyway]

Supporting Kids and Parents through childcare

Don't Leave Your Friends Behind- Concrete Things You Can Do To Support Parents In Your Scene (Repost)

These suggestions are from the “Don’t Leave Your Friends Behind: Anarcha-feminism & Supporting Mothers and Children” workshop at La Revolta! To get a copy of the 22 page workshop handout: you can download it from: http://bengal.missouri.edu/~maxwellr/DontLeaveYourFriendsBehind.pdf or send a dollar to Vikki Law P.O. Box 20388 NY NY 10009 or China Martens P.O. Box 4803 Baltimore MD 21211 USA




http://femmeminister.snappages.com/blog.htm#.T093J2ptfeI.facebook

fiddling...

please note that im currently fiddling around with the settings here, it'll be up and making sense soon enough :)

Inspiration Porn

[photo: black and white image of a bearded, white, tattoo'd, bespectacled person wearing a black tshirt, overalls and cap, sitting in a motorized mobility scooter, clasping their hands together while smiling big, with their forearm crutches sticking up behind them; text reads: "Know what i'm tired of? Images of disabled people doing random things, turned into "inspiration porn". These images (e.g. children joyfully running with their prosthetic legs, someone painting with their toes, an elder skiing, etc), are then emblazoned with text like "what's your excuse?", "your excuse is invalid", "if ___ can do it, why can't you?" and other gems. They call on non-disabled people to buck up and stop making excuses for not doing something, and guilt other disabled folks into feeling like crap for not being able to pull themselves up by the proverbial bootstraps & "just do it". These images & sentiments are an ableist tool. They exceptionalize disabled people based in ablesist notions of accomplishment & worth. They build on & reenforce able bodied pitydom of gimps. Just fucking stop it ok? We're just doing our thing, yknow? We are not a goddamn guilt-trip tool to get you to do stuff. Please, if you need to use gimps as a tool to get you to do stuff, yer using the wrong starting point. (*for example, in this photo, i am simply enjoying a moment with a friend... I AM NOT YOUR INSPIRATION!)"]

- - - - - - - >

Think about it... if you wanted to surf, i bet you've seen many photos of random people surfing, and if you're reading this now you've got access to a computer and, like, so many photos and videos [e.g. when i type in "surfing" into google, i get about 298,000,000 results]. So ask yourself: why does it take the image of a disabled person doing it to get you to do it? Here's what i think, take it or leave it, i just ask that you ponder it some:

Society creates stories out of disabled folks. Stories which vilify us or exceptionalize us, and in the case of these images it's the latter (but it ultimately leads to the former as well, but that's for another post).

It seems like it taps into a few things:

A sense of pity (however subconscious) for the disabled person, because wow, is that ever sad!

A sense of "well if they can do it so can i!". But why didn't you have that reaction when you saw 297,999,990 shots of able bodied people doing the exact same thing? Just the mere SIGHT of a disabled person propelled you to do it? Wow! Now THAT'S power and influence!

A sense of "duty" / "obligation" somehow. Because if disabled people are doing this, you cant possibly say no. That wouldn't look right. What would your friends think? How could you look at yourself in the morning if there was a poor disabled child out there running joyfully with their prosthetic legs while you whined about schedules and whatnot?

[Us just existing and not crawling into a hole you can see really makes folks think of the big picture, of humanity, of you know, the like meaning of life and shit.]

You look at that kid running  [ that same running kid i mentioned earlier ], and maybe you see the joy on their face. You want to capture some of that for yourself, maybe remember what it's like to feel like that. But what you're also doing when you read the words "your excuse is invalid" [aside from probably not even thinking about the use of that word "invalid" in this context] and you leap off the couch to find your old track suit, is that you are creating a story for that kid based on able-bodied perceptions of worth, of success, of joy; you are pitying that kid, you are maybe feeling silly for ever thinking you couldnt do it because wow, that kid can do it! 

And that dear reader is ableism.

Just ponder it, ok?

And before i get any "you don't want to see gimps doing stuff!!" messages, that's not what this is about. i love seeing images of gimps doing stuff. What i don't dig is the ableist sentimentality which so often accompanies it. i dislike having our lives used as a tool to reenforce the very systems which cause us to be "disabled" in the first place [you know, disability as a social construct and all that jazz]. Different stuff.

that awkward moment when...

--------------------------------------

from

http://thededucer.tumblr.com/post/17330582800/that-awkward-moment-when

"that awkward moment when you gently question someone’s use of the ableist word “lame”, and suggest that they have a look at this post over at FWD, and their only response is to delete their original comments. errrrrr."

--------------------------------------

Seriously.

i think sometimes folks do it because they feel embarrassed, or maybe they think it's not ok to keep a post up there once its been called out, maybe they don't want anyone to get offended, who knows. The point is, getting kindly, softly called on something needn't be so embarrassing that it stops you from working on it. Its a learning moment. Try to sit with it, let it be what it is. And don't do it again.

how do you be compassionate with yourself when all you want to do is rip your eyebrows off?

i've spent so many years doing work to love and understand my survivor body | my fat body | my trans & genderqueer body | my aging body | my sober body | my gimped ache-filled body, working to turn down the volume during pain flares and pump it up during the rest of the time | to love my cunt in a cunt-hating world | and to love my tits | love my stretchmarks | even love this bald head of mine | love the complex shit that makes it hard to love freely sometimes, that i've lost sight of taking care to love my whole, complete, integrated body, the whole thing, as one big package, all at the same time. i want to know what that feels like. i'm trying.

A friend suggested to me tonight that --given the time and energy and passion i give to other things in my life-- i might need to ask different questions of myself; suggested that instead of judging myself for the things i'm not able to or am not doing, that i instead ask "what is the most self-loving thing i can do right now?", and i broke down crying. (cue Kinnie Starr lyrics from Soar that've been stuck in my head since, like, 8 or 9 years: Forsake the answer, rename the question, what lies deep enough not to be mentioned, should be brought to the top to be spoken")

Clearly, there's more work to be done. But i'm gonna try to think of it not as work, as drudgery, as a desperate need because i once again am in fucking agony right now, but rather as coming from a place of love, forgiveness, compassion.

i wonder: what will it feel like to truly love myself --and not simply these bitesize portions which used to feel like enough-- in words and actions?

What do you do when you want to feel integrated and in touch with and compassionate and loving and responsive and accountable to a body that is consistently being an asshole to you?

i suppose i'm going to keep trying to come back to "what is the most self-loving thing i can do right now?"

xox

Fragrance Free Femme of Colour Realness Draft 1.5

Another amazing piece by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha!

Fragrance Free Femme of Colour Realness Draft 1.5

by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

brownstargirl@gmail.com

"Dedicated to all my fierce femme of colour disabled and chronically ill warrior fam.

When I think about access, I think about love. I think that crip (disabled and chronically ill) solidarity, and solidarity between disabled folks and non(yet) disabled folks is a powerful act of love and I-got-your-back. It’s in big things, but it’s also in the little things we do moment by moment to ensure that we all- in all our individual bodies- get to be present fiercely as we make change. ...

One small (and huge) thing you can do to ensure access is to work towards  being scent/fragrance free. Folks who have chemical disabilities need  to be able to participate in the worlds outside our bedrooms- in our parties, queer/trans of color cultural events, the subway, the grocery store, etc.

It’s easy to get inexpensive scent/fragrance free products at Trader Joe’s, Walgreens, Whole Foods (they suck, but they make $3 scent-free shampoo, conditioner and lotion), independent health food stores and co-ops, and you can also just get some cocoa butter, coconut oil or shea butter in the raw and make your own products, which is cheap and fun.

Cutting out scents may seem like a pain in the ass, but it means that awesome, ass-kicking community members you love can attend events you're at and make out with you without having seizures, throwing up or otherwise getting really sick.

Are you curious about going scent-free but totally overwhelmed by the prospect of having to replace your whole product line of fiercely researched POC body care products? You're not the only one. Fear not!"

...

Scarlet Road: A Sex Workers Journey

So i was finally able to watch the full length version of this today. It's a look into sex workers working with clients with disabilities, and about the connections between our communities, the stigmas faced, and how we can connect and be in solidarity with one another.

Aside from some moments of ugh (in particular, there were several mentions of how "inspiring" and "rewarding" it is to work with disabled clients, which didn't get too into it, but just singed around the outside), i thought this was an interesting look.

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=Y2ILM62O

(this one is not yet subtitled, but im gonna work on it!)

id love to see it paired with "Every Ho I Know Says So: Advice for lovers, partners, dates and sweethearts of sex workers"

"EVERY HO I KNOW SAYS SO is a response to the total lack of accessible online resources for people looking for advice on how to be a good date or lover or partner to a sex worker. We want to support our lovers to continue unlearning the internalized stigma against sex workers, especially in intimate relationships"

http://www.universalsubtitles.org/en/videos/PtEL4pF2kQOz/info/Every%20Ho%20I%20Know%20Says%20So/

(i did english subtitles for this some time ago, enjoy!)

Have thoughts about either or both of these?

Gimps Against Gentrification!

[photo description: night street scene at a construction site, approximately 12 people, ranging in age, size, ability, colour, stand or sit in the rain in walkers, with canes, and a scooter at the front left, blocking one of the entrances to the under construction Paris annex condo development in Vancouver's DownTown EastSide]

REVOLUTION IN PROGRESS. 

EXPECT DELAYS.
While 24 folks occupied the Paris annex condo development in DTES today, many more linked arms blocking the doors so more cops couldnt get in, including Elders and disabled folks who used our big beautiful bodies and mobility aids to increase our collective strength.

We chanted "NO CONDOS IN THE DTES!", "NO HOUSING, NO PEACE!", and "WHAT DO WE WANT? HOUSING! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW!!" in solidarity with all those fighting the condo onslaught in this area and the unwillingness of the City to do anything about it which reflects & respects the needs of this community.

In the words of the folks fighting gentrification throughout the DTES: 

"Condos at this site would be a gentrification bomb in the heart of the DTES.
The 100-block of East Hastings is symbolically important because it includes single room occupancy housing for about 400 low-income people.
It also includes key gathering places where low-income DTES residents feel comfortable, including:
- Carnegie Community Centre which serves 5000 low-income people and is a hub for food and recreational activities.
- Insite which ensures access to critical health services for thousands of IV drug users..
- Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre which is a drop in and safe-space for thousands of low-income women.
- Aboriginal Front Door which is the only centre in the area run by and for Indigenous people.

Bringing condos to this block could change all of this. Condos cause higher property values, higher rents in SROs, and displacement of low income people from the SROs as we have seen with Woodwards. This contradicts the “without displacement” part of the city’s policy of “revitalization without displacement” in the DTES. The condo-social housing mixed development at Woodward’s caused rents in neighbouring hotels to increase and pushed out low-income residents. Expensive restaurants and boutique stores sprang up and more private security guards and police pushed low-income people out of public spaces. This is why we want 100% social housing, not 80% condos with 20% social housing."

Disabled folks and Elders are some of the hardest hit by the gentrification process in the DTES. Rising poverty rates, reduced disability benefits, health care supplements being slashed, Elder community spaces in uncertain futures, welfare rates at all time lows (and increased barriers), and condo developers encroaching further and further into the heart of the DTES, this pattern will only continue.

But disabled folks and Elders are also often the first on the line when fighting back. There are networks of folks working together to stop these developments, and you can be part of that! There are many victories to celebrate. Get in contact with the folks at the link below, or just come on down to an action. There are many people --including other disabled folks-- able and willing to stay alongside for support, to find ways of working together, to keep each other safe and connected. However you do it, join in the fight! See you out there!

Please, read more here, get informed, come out to an action, support in whatever way you can!

http://dtesnotfordevelopers.wordpress.com/

And you can always get a realistic media reflection of events here: http://vancouver.mediacoop.ca/

http://vancouver.mediacoop.ca/photo/paris-block-condos-confiscated/9201 

free traveller accessible transit information study

http://www.freetraveller.co.uk/#!about

"Free Traveller is a Loughborough University project to study how different forms of information help disabled people plan their journey in confidence.

The aim is simple, to understand how different forms of information effect the usability of a mashup (thats the thing with the information balloons on a map). Does different information effect how users see the mashup, and if so how can we use these judgements to make better mashups, websites and products in the future? This is done by creating three custom maps to explore under what conditions information influences user information perceptions. Participants are then asked to view these maps, interact with them and then share their thoughts on how confident they would feel using that information when travelling in the future."

hey folks,

i did this, and it was actually pretty neat, a great project designed to figure out how folks who use accessibility information for transit traveling deal with the info (value? usefulness? clarity? accuracy? etc). They made a mistake with the time it takes to complete it, which has now been corrected, and they really need folks to try it out!


(doesnt hurt that you can win a chunk of change for participating!)


please note there are a couple glitches/issues right now:
As of right now, you can't increase the text size of the info boxes in the maps yet, but i alerted them to it. i ended up cut n pasting the info into a word doc and increasing the font size myself, but that's not a good solution and they're on it.

Currently, there are only 2 gender options (neither of which suit me. sigh). i mentioned this, and perhaps if more people do, there'll be movement on that.

not knowing / not bothering

i don't actually have the power personally/ systemically/ institutionally to "force" or "make" you post accessibilitIES information for your events -- & if it must be forced, have folks learned anything?). 

However, if you consider yourself IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER "allied" to me as a disabled person, you will do the right thing & post it. If you don't know what to post, ask me or someone else. There's nothing wrong with NOT KNOWING. You are not alone in not knowing, believe me! There are many things i don't know about accessibilitIES too. It's a learning process, but you have to be willing to not know to move forward. No shame, nothing wrong with not knowing!

There is, however, something wrong with NOT BOTHERING. When you have the opportunity but don't bother, you are sending a very clear message to me that: 

- you don't care about my/our inclusion and participation, 

- you don't care about the fact that i/we get shut out of things every single day, 

- you don't care that our friendship or other kind of relationship doesn't actually get to include all of me/us, and that you would rather not think about that. You have devalued me/us based on ableism, likely without even realizing it.

i know it maybe seems like a lot, but this is what is being transmitted in your "not bothering". i'd like to think you'd never say such things to my face, so why are you willing to say them in other ways? 

Ask yourself, honestly, why you don't/won't prioritize this, us, me. No brownie points, but you --yes you-- will be doing me, my disabled friends & non-disabled allies, our communities, & ultimately our friendship a major favour.

[And also, like i've said elsewhere, gimps can (and often do!) do this aaaaaall day long. We aint goin' anywhere (especially since folks seem to insist on using non-accessible spaces!). So, y'know, we're meeting up with each other, drawing up plans, making change happen. You can come along for the ride and help steer every now and then, or you can get sick in the backseat. Your choice. Either way, change is happening, friend!]

 <3

"What did you do to yourself to get stuck with those awful things?"

i really hope youll take a few moments to read this piece by Toby MacNutt about being asked questions about mobility aids by strangers. It is seriously fucking powerful and beautiful and says so many of the things i wish i could say more on the regular, instead of just shutting down. i've written angry screeds about it, cried about it, ranted to friends about it, written in my journal about it, put it in a zine, questioned folks about it, tried hard to answer respectfully despite the disrespect given me, any number of things. But i think this piece by gizometer really just sums it up. <3

"It has so many common elements to questions I've heard a million times now - even in the scant handful of years I've been 'out' or visible as dis/abled. I'm going to try to draw each one out and address where it comes from and why it doesn't work. Where I can, I'll suggest alternatives. Maybe you've wondered the same things, about me or about someone else, or maybe you've had these questions asked of you, to your frustration/confusion/sighs. I hope this helps. I don't get the chance to explain this all to everyone who asks - I have a life, too, and places to go, and other demands on my time/energy - but conceptually, I want to think about it, I want others to think about it, I want to tell it, I want people to know."

http://gizmometer.dreamwidth.org/17655.html?#cutid1