i'm less a "build it and they will come" kind of person as i am a "come and fucking build it" person. Slight word difference, hugely different outcomes. 

Creating accessible spaces are a ground floor affair, in all ways. You can't just say (as has been said to me so often as a gimp, usually by temporarily able bodied folk) "if you want X, if you're not seeing X, make X!". Sounds good. Sounds empowering even. Sure! Let's make it happen!

Thing is? When all or most of the spaces in which one might hope to find or create X are inaccessible, those spaces cannot contain/celebrate/what have you, X.
 

So, the answer for me is not simply and only for X to create new X spaces, because really, not many of us have the ability or resources to do that in all instances. And it's not simply a matter of X showing up and saying "fuckit! We're here!" That does happen, and when it does i think that's amazing and is something i actively support (by giving what money i can to sustain it, by volunteering, spreading the word far and wide, showing up, etc.)

But it's also about working together with what we've got, working together to change the status quo. And "if you want X, if youre not seeing X, make X!" rarely seems to cover that. Stripped down, it tends to be more a "stop 'complaining' and do something!" than it is an invite to fundamentally change the way we view spaces and communities and who has the right to be there and how we're going to make that happen. Which is, in case it wasn't clear, what i prefer.

i prefer it because it means i stand a better chance of going to things, of accessing parts of my communities. And it means that others have increased option for doing the same. 

Which is the whole point to me.

--------------------------------------
Reality check: i try to balance that with the reality i happen to live, which is that, in general? There aint a whole bunch of people showing up to do this work, consistently. And the reality that many gimps where i live (extrapolable most places) are living on the barest minimums financially due to government "assistance", or no help whatsoever, which renders people fucked. And i balance it all with living in a culture that is still so mired in ableism.
-------------------------------------

Anyways, instead of "don't see X? Make X!", how about "hey, we're not findig X, how can we actively work together to change that?" Mhm. Sounds good.

Accessibilities information is really important to me as a disabled person. It gives me the opportunity to decide for myself the degree of involvement i can or would like to have with an event, organization, whatever. It puts the power in my hands to make informed choices about what i do with my body, and that shit is priceless.

Having accessibilities information on your events is key, and not just when you know your event is super accessible. It's critical, for example, that you not indicate your shindig is accessible when it is actually not. Seems simple, but it happens all the time. It makes a difference to me whether there are 2 or 20 steps, whether the bathroom is big enough for me to move around in, whether it will be a scent reduced or scent free event. It matters to my friends and i if your event has childcare, is on a bus route (and whether or not there will be bus tokens available), whether its trans friendly and elder friendly. It matters to me that if there are couches provided in addition to folding chairs, that people know those couches are for fat accessibility and others who require that kind of seating. Its important to indicate whether there will be sign language interpretation. It's important to know that folks who do not have legal documentation will be safe in the space. And so on. So many things are important.

It's important that the information you provide is accurate and up to date. There's not much that pisses me off more than arriving at a space billed as accessible only to discover it's not. And no you wont give me my money back. And no you cant carry me up the stairs. And, well, no, i will not be returning. If you think its a pain to gather all this info, try to imagine what its like when time and again, you have to face a wall of stairs when youve been promised none, or been promised you can comfortably take a piss when in fact you couldnt even fit in the stalls provided. Its all about perspective, folks.

So when you know the information, SHARE IT. If you dont yet know the info, FIND OUT. If you dont know how to go about it, ASK THOSE WHO DO. If someone comes to you and requests a change because of accessibility, WORK IT OUT.

Thats what makes communities stronger, more resilient and able to face the barrage of bullshit that the state visits on us at every turn.

<3

http://www.thescavenger.net/people/i-am-disabled-and-you-are-jealous-89822.html

i really like this article about when friends get jealous of folks who are on disability benefits. ive had many folks express a sense of envy, jealousy, etc because im on benefits and apparently have all this freedom to do as i please, all this free time, this life of leisure. i really wish they could understand that this is not a privilege, it is a basic survival thing. i have no other options. i have no room to move, to play with it, have no prospects for anything different, no movement. i would gladly work at a job. but i cant. i would gladly do what my parents and their parents and theirs before did, and work at something to earn a living in this messed up system, if it meant i could do it without living with this pain. But i cant. So yeah. Please dont talk to me about being jealous of this. As this article says:  "there’s nothing going on with them that you want for yourself."

This isn't a feel-good blog. There are no sparkles and rainbows for you to slide down to find disabled people in a little accessible pot o' gold, farting sequins and love for you. It's also not exactly just a pissy blog either, not all the time. But it's honest, and hopefully provides some information that you can use in the real world. And that makes a difference in mine and the lives of other folks who need things to change, like ASAP. And i'm good with that. i just want us to keep learning and re-learning this stuff, and adapting as things change. i do this kind of work because it's the right thing to do, for me, for my communities, not because i imagine everything will be amazing some day. It may never change substantially in my lifetime. As a gimp, i'm not fooling myself. i know this stuff is hard, and if i sat around waiting for the big payoff i'd lose my shit. So i keep writing, agitating, rebuilding, tearing down and building again, advocating and creating change, big, little, whatever. The more the merrier! So, in the words of Inga Muscio, let's "get it the fuck on!"

Pump Up The Volume

Here's something i'd like my non-disabled friends, lovers, comrades, community members to think about:

Your ability to behave as though accessibility isn't really a big deal, or that it's a big deal but not something you really need to concern yourself with, is based purely in your privileged position within an ableist society.

If you've known me any length of time, you've known that accessibility is important. There's just no getting around that. The degree to which you allow yourself to integrate that fact into your actions is directly correlated to the degree to which an ableist society values the voices of disabled folks, which is to say, not a lot.

Think about that: the voices of disabled folks (which, if you've known me for any length of time includes mine) are not valued or prioritized in any meaningful way in this society. You access that fact, whether realizing it or not, every day, in countless ways.

Which means, whether or not you realize it, whether or not you like it, you are tapping into ENabled privilege in a way that directly impacts the lives of people with disabilities. That's definitely not some personal indictment, just a fact of living in this society.

The fact is that you've more than likely encountered more than just me talking about accessibility. If it's in the local kink community, i know this for sure, because kinky gimps have been speaking out about accessibility at kink events for a very, very long time. Friends, lovers, comrades, we speak about it, we bring it up on websites, we talk about it at meetings (if they're accessible to us), we talk about it over coffee, breakfast, and before/after sex and/or play. We are indeed talking about it.

But again, the degree to which the information penetrates is directly correlated to the degree to which disabled voices are valued in this society, which is to say not a lot.

So i want folks to think more deeply about what it means for example to give accessibility information about your events without having to always be prompted by folks with disabilities to do it. i want you to think about how your actions affect PWD on a daily basis. How it impacts our access to what are supposed to be our communities, and how that lack of access hinders growth on so many levels, for everyone.

i also want people to be more creative about it! We have such an incredible community! Talented on so many levels, resourceful, creative, thoughtful, diverse. i want more folks to think (and DO!) more about who gets to be here. i want people's actions to challenge dominant notions about who gets to be here, to turn up the proverbial (and literal!) volume on gimp voices for a change by working on cutting down your own background noise.

What are you doing, right now, to turn down your own racket? What do you need to help you do that more often? Are there disabled members of your community who have been silenced, drowned out or passed over in discussions about space and community? i guarantee even if you can't think of any, they're there. What would it take for you to reach out? What do you think would be positives for the larger community if that happened consistently?

i'm down for it for sure :)

How can fatties be at peace in this world if/when we be at peace on the backs of other fatties?

SOLIDARITY AT EVERY SIZE.
That's what i want.

i don't need nor am i interested in Health At Every Size. As a disabled person who is identified daily by sighted folks as disabled i will never have that. And i refuse to get solidarity for myself on the backs of other disabled folks, or on the backs of other fatties who do not tow the "healthy" line. i mean, i don't tow that line, but generally i can get away with a certain level of shit because i am considered to be a "smaller" fatty. Do you know what i mean? i mean that i often have some wiggle room as a smaller fatty, a little more freedom, a little less staring when i eat in public (depending on what i'm eating and how excited i am about that), a little less judgment, etc than many of my bigger friends face, certainly when they and i are together and people can compare us (eg "they're both disgusting, but at least he's[sic] not THAT fat!"). This affords me time and space to do and be in ways that some of my friends and lovers and comrades simply cant take for granted. i know this, i understand it. i fight against giving in to it. i refuse to allow it to bring other fatties down because it is apparently somehow useful as a tool to elevate me.

i am also not interested in Fat Acceptance. i dont want to be accepted, or tolerated. i want to be respected, i want to be understood, i want to be left the fuck alone. i want to be celebrated and crooned over and smothered in kisses; on and on til i forget what it was ever like to be spit on, to be yelled at from passing cars, to be sneered and gawked at, to have every fucking thing that ever went wrong with my body attributed to my fat (and yes, even as a smaller fatty and as someone who others now perceive to be a dude, all of this is what i get, particularly living in one of the most fatphobic cities on the north american continent). i want to be covered, and when or if i'm so covered in kisses that i can forget that feeling of shame and hurt and embarrassment and anger even for a moment, i will remember that this shit is all contextual, and that in 5 minutes i'll get it again, and i will remember that other people in my life are still and always feeling it, and i will smother them with kisses (literal and/or figurative, as they may desire) and i will respect, understand, respect desires for solitude, celebrate and croon the fuck over them.

How can fatties be at peace in this world if/when we be at peace on the backs of other fatties? How can we look ourselves in the mirror, or imagine ourselves in our hearts, when we are so busy gawking at other fatties? At finger-pointing, at comparing, at judging, at disrespecting each other? How can you know in your heart that i wish to be in solidarity with you when and if my behaviour tells you something else? How can you know (and how can it be so) the depth of my love and respect when and if i prove myself over and over to throw you under the bus every time it gets overheated?

The only way i can be in true solidarity with you, and you with me, is to honour, listen, act, with dignity, respect, compassion, humility, to shut the fuck up, to leave alone, to show up, and yes to smother with kisses (literal and/or figurative) when desired, and to move forward together. That's what i commit to, every day, and that is why this fatty doesn't "accept" you and doesn't want you to "accept" me; doesn't want "health" at every size; but instead understands in the deepest corners of this cavernous heart that you, me, us, we, are fucking perfect in every way possible, precisely because you are, not because of what you can prove to me, not because of what you could be, not because of how well you fit into fatphobic framing of what a worthwhile existence should be, but because you are, right now, you, we, us. 

There is something incredibly powerful about you, we, us, no?


<3

gimp representation

OK. So. If you're disabled and identified as such by sighted folks*, can we talk? i would love to do some kind of project with you, a photo project, or video, or writing, or audio, or a combination, or some other form altogether? i cant photograph or film my way out of a wet paper bag lol, but know folks who can, some of whom are also gimps.

i'd love to have more (any?) things i can look at and be like, "huh, that actually reflects something that looks like me, in ways i'd want to be reflected". What sorts of things have you gotten to partake in, either as a participant or observer, that made you think "shit. we need more of this"? Ya know, representation and all.

i keep returning to this post:
http://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/video-crip-sex-crip-lust-and-the-lust-of-recognition/
and thinking "damn. i want more"

Wanna do something about that?

<3


* i.e. "visibly disabled"[sic] i hate how that's always couched in such ENabled terms! i don't know how to get away from it being centred on what sighted folks perceive, while getting my point across. There are times i do projects with a bigger base of connection than this, and there must be a better way of thinking/talking about this, but there's something to it, something about being identified as a gimp out there, in the day-to-day, that has some very different meaning to me than when i wasn't being identified that way. There are a whole bunch of things to deal with, and i really want something that talks about that, but with other folks too!

all bodies

i cant believe im saying this, and that im tearing up while writing this, but i went to my first chunky dunk a couple weeks ago. ive never gone (that i can remember anyways) to an all-bodies swim, or chunky dunk, despite several opportunities to do so over the years. But anyways, i went. i realized yesterday that when i was there, i was also bringing in all of my baggage around it.

It was wrapped up in the tank top i didnt want to wear but felt i must because of my tits and my bruises; it was in what i however incorrectly perceived to be the judgey eyes of the non fatties/non gimps working for the pool; it was drowning in the i-dont-want-to-get-out-of-

this-pool-ever i was swimming in -- and i literally didnt want to get out. In part because, despite my inability to swim with anything resembling skill lol, i didnt want to leave this bubble of awesomeness. And in part because i was scared to try and get out because the last time i tried to get out of a pool was at the arthritis centre like a year ago and i almost fainted from the pain. And in part because i felt ashamed of being embarrassed about that.

Ashamed in a space where folks twice and thrice and less-than-half my size were bounding and cavorting together, a space where my sweetie and amazing friends were, a space where i knew if anything happened, id be ok. i felt ashamed of my body, but i think it was different than that. i felt like there was the potential for there to be some kind of relief from that for a moment, like, i dont know, like it's not that it didn't matter (because no one in that pool i think is under the impression that bodies dont matter), but that yes it mattered. For once, i felt like my body mattered, in all its fucked upness, and that that was ok, that was welcome. i dont think ive ever felt that before in such a public space.

i so badly need to go again and taste that. im so grateful this kind of thing happens. and i wont leave it so long before i do it again. <3<3<3

FYI: as a gimp, i am actually NOT obligated to attend events/spaces because you "went out of your way" to get a w/c accessible space. I AM NOT THE ONLY GIMP IN TOWN. If the point of you getting an accessible space isn't simply to increase access to your event for more community members, then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, OK?

Do you know how many times i've heard this same refrain over the years? How many times my friends have heard it too? Well let me tell you, it's a lot. When i have conversations with people putting on events, i talk about accessibility. When or if they end up deciding to go with a wheelchair accessible space as part of that accessibility, i am almost guaranteed to be expected to show up, as though i owe organizers a pat on the goddamn back, or my money, or my gratitude (ew) for doing what they should be doing anyways. And if i don't show up, anything i had to say on the matter is tossed out the window, because i must just be some whiner, some complainer, who doesn't actually do anything of use. Well fuck that.

Do you think disabled folks owe you something (including gratitude) for your stepping up and getting an accessible space? Well let me tell you right now: WE DAMN WELL DO'NT.

Let me repeat:

If the point of you getting an accessible space isn't simply to increase access to your event for more community members, then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, OK?

Fucking hell.

collaborators

So, i'm looking for more partners in crime, other gimps to kick shit up with. i'm tired of feeling frustrated and pissed off and disappointed at so often finding the same things happening over and over, no matter the amount of work PWDs put into changing stuff. i really want to create other shit. i'm super excited by projects like this:

crip sex, crip lust, and the lust of recognition


that speak to me as a gimp, that reach into my chest and pump pump pump my heart, that mean something to me coming from other variously disabled folks. i really want to do and experience this kind of thing while being able to also continue navigating (because we gotta do it) an ableist society, and not totally lose my shit, y'know? i want to honour my own unique experiences, the connections and overlaps with other folks with disabilities, work with ENabled folks, and keep it all cool; want to not lose my head and creativity and spark in it all; want to keep my focus on my communities, other PWDs, and not constantly allow myself to get derailed by fail.


The Rub? (It feels like) i can't organize my way out of a wet paper bag. Social awkwardness, lack of physical access/es, head stuff that makes it really hard to be...well...organized, even just in my own home, not feeling confident or comfortable in a 'leadership' role, and not being part of/privy to a culture that encourages gimps to organize unless we're filling the roles prescribed by ENabled folks (e.g. bitter gimp, inspiring crip, etc.), all create an environment where i don't feel awesome about organizing, but one where i feel defeat and frustration. i really want to challenge this in myself. Because organizing comes in so many forms right? i wonder what other PWDs are doing?


i wonder if there is something out there specifically for gimps around organizing, increasing our confidences, cultivating practices of working together in ways that don't feel hierarchical?


Because i could use some help on that. Any ideas greatly appreciated!

Gimps Resist the G20

"Disability is the story of systemic oppression and exclusion of groups of people who are considered deviant or undesirable. In our capitalist system, disability is about who is considered to be under-productive or unproductive and enforcing consequences on those groups of people through segregation, poverty and abuse, among other things."

Why Resist the G20 In Toronto?

When i show up to an event that's billed as accessible for gimps (whatever that means anyways) and find i can get into the space fine and use the bathroom fine, but that there's such a stench of cologne in the air (and one that others may find entirely dealable or not even notice) that i want to bleed out of and pour bleach into my eyesockets just to get some relief? Yeah that's totes not accessible for me. Colognes/ perfumes/ strong deodorant and cigarette smoke are all things that make me wheeze, get headaches, and feel sick. It usually follows if i've been exposed long enough that i get actually sick, like having a cold. Don't know what the scientific schlemeel is on that, but i've noticed it many many times over the years. So yeah, i'm definitely not a fan.

But there are all kinds of reasons why "accessible" spaces are so often not accessible at all:

-If your "accessible" event is one where casual use of the word "retard" and other slurs is accepted? Yeah, that's not an accessible event.

-If your "accessible" event is one where elders are made to feel useless, uncool, out of place, and otherwise undesireable? Yeah, not accessible.

-If your "accessible" event is one where poor folks are routinely made to feel like shit for not purchasing something? Totally not accessible.

-If at your "accessible" event folks of colour are treated like exhibits? So. Not. Accessible.

-If trans people are forced to meet messed up cissexist standards of "passing" in order to get in and stay in? Yeah, that's not accessible.

-If at your "accessible" event members of your organization are found doing pantomimes of people in wheelchairs attempting to access the space? NOT. FUCKING. ACCESSIBLE.

On and on it goes. Holy Mother of Pearl some of it seems so obvious, but people's ideas of accessibility are often so limited. i've had folks freak out at me many times for sitting in the seats reserved for disabled folks on the bus because the disability symbol has someone in a wheelchair and i use crutches lol. i want ideas about accessibility expanded, because it is expanded for most folks i know. Makes sense to me.

taking a chance

Recently, i had a pretty bad relapse with my back which i'm still recovering from. It’s usually tricky, but y’know sometimes it just decides to up and go completely. So, this was going on, right when i was planning to go visit someone real important to me. i ended up going, and just being in a shit ton of pain and medded up more than usual. About a week into the visit, a new acquaintance offered me a gift certificate to a local acupuncture place. Now, i’d had acupuncture done once when i was a kid, after a particularly bad car accident, and let me tell you: it was not good. It really physically and emotionally hurt me, i was scared and didn’t know what to expect, was not listened to at all when i said it was hurting, but couldn’t physically do anything to stop it because my body was fucked (i had broken my neck, back and jaw in a bad car accident), and the people were just not understanding at all. i felt so fucked with, abused really, unheard, vulnerable, totally disrespected. i’ve never tried it since. So i was hesitant to say the least to try again, even all these years later, but took the plunge because the person is a friend of a close friend, and i thought just maybe it could be ok.

And am so glad i did.

i’ve never experienced anything like it ever. From start to finish it was so completely beautiful and amazing, respectful, supportive. i’ve never felt so comfortable and respected as a trans person, a fatty, and a gimp in a health and wellness setting ever, anywhere. This set the framework for being able to totally let go during our session, and to get the best health benefit from it.

This is what happened:

i went in with my sweetie and spoke with the person at the front, we did some paperwork and then chatted with the acupuncturist. i then went into the space. i undressed a little and got on the table, face down. She told me precisely what she was going to do, what it meant, what might happen, let me know i could say at any point what i needed, if i needed something changed, stopped, explained, anything. She began by doing some cupping on my back. i’ve experienced some of that in another (kink) context, but this...this was something else altogether. It was the most amazing (i keep using that word, i know) thing. She told me what was happening all through it. She left me for a few moments then moved into the acupuncture, left me for about 20 minutes, then returned and did some Moxi (i believe thats what it’s called). She gave me time to take it all in as we went. i told her at a certain point that i thought i was gonna get weepy and i was sorry. She made me feel unashamed about it, and provided just what i needed. i never felt judged or coddled at any point, but supported through the process in every way i could hope for.

While i was laying there, early on during the cupping, i began to have really intense visions. i was literally flying, a huge black crow (which is also interesting to me because the close friend who was the friend of the acupuncturist is named Crow, but i digress), over patchworks below me. After circling and swooping for some time, i was suddenly flying over myself sitting in my lazyboy in my apartment. i circled several times, and heard in my head “get up, romham, get up, just get up, move, come with me, get up... ” and it wasn’t in some Glee-inspired ableist bullshit way of like dreaming about not being disabled or some shit. It was about seeing myself and knowing that i can support my heart and accept others' help with that too, i can do the things i need to do, can be present even in this body that is so often just so fucking hard to be present in, i have power over my life, i have power and responsibility and i have support.
Then my crow self swooped down and tucked huge feathery wings under my armpits and swooped upwards with me in them, limp, then not, then i was just the crow again. i was flying, swooping, moving, not un-disabled but un-ashamed. i found myself crying, tears streaming onto the floor beneath me, with this stranger, my body open and vulnerable. And i felt completely and utterly safe.

Later on, my sweetie and i talked and i cried more, feeling so overwhelmed by all of it, by the pain in my body, the helplessness, the anger, the vulnerability, the embarrassment, the seeming endlessness of it all, and she was just there, loving me, letting this all come out.

i went back a week later for another session, and will most definitely go back for more when i’m down there.

i guess what i want to say is that i’m super fucking beautiful, and courageous for taking a chance on this, am so fortunate for the generosity of a new friend, for trusting in the good judgement of old ones, and for the love i’m surrounded with.

Like, woah.


oh... if anyone's interested in where i went:

http://www.brooklyncommunityacupuncture.com/

in Portland Oregon.
It is wheelchair accessible and navigable, sliding scale.

Tip #27 for Lovers and Fighters

This little entry is about trans stuff, but the theme applies across a variety of my experiences.
i talk, albeit short n sweetly (er, not so sweetly actually lol), about fucking. This is not about anyone but me, no judgment about what anyone else needs to do or what they call their own fabulous body. It’s a response to ongoing experiences of the “Approach Trans Folks with Caution”tm phenomenon that’s one result of living in a transphobic, cis-centric society. Because really? That shit is busted!

So!

Let’s get at least one thing straight around here:
don’t put someone else’s body dysphoria on me.

i love my body, love my big fat belly, hair, tits, cunt, dick, chub, all of it. i feel little to no shame about my body, and don’t want lovers who approach me carrying their or someone else’s issues held out like a dandelion parachute ball that i’m supposed to navigate through a windstorm because i happen to be trans. Don’t ask me delicate, meandering questions about my “area” or “torso” or “...here...?”, or if i like my “front hole”, “junk” or (again) “area” touched or want my “dicklet” sucked, because let me tell you: i don’t.

i want you to bite my beartits while fucking my cunt, ok? Yes, i want you to eat my pussy and slobber on my dick. i want to get licked and sucked and fingered and fucked. i don’t want cute names for my body parts, least of all my genitals. i want it hard and mean and preferably while you spit in my face.

None of this means my gender identity is up for scrutiny.

Not everyone who looks the way i do, or who’s gone on some vaguely similar path as me, or hell, any other trans person at all, feels the same way about their body, or wants or responds to the same things, and it pisses me off when folks think we do. i'm only supposed to call my genitals "my dick" and am not supposed to like getting fucked anywhere but maybe my ass on a good day, because people perceive me a certain way. i'm not supposed to call my beartits "tits" at all, and am supposed to feel shame about them, because people perceive me a certain way. i'm supposed to adopt the non-consentual descriptors that others (often non-trans folks who really? need to step the fuck back) insist i should use and feel good about. What's that? Oh right: busted! It makes me feel like there must be something shameful about my body, that the persyn/s i’m with thinks there’s something shameful about it, when i know full well there isn’t.

And that’s so far from hot.

Just ask me what i like, what i want, what feels good, what gets me off. i’ll tell you what my triggers are and if i need you to stop i’m totally able to say so. i don’t fuck unless i’m present, and want the same in lovers. i’ll ask you what you want for your own body, i’ll be present, i’ll slow down when you want, stop when you want, go harder when you want, use the words you want, and i will not put my issues on you. Return the favour and please don’t tiptoe around my body, because i’ve been doing that most of my life.

i don’t want to get hung up. i want to get beat up, fucked up, wrung out and end it all with a sweaty cuddle pile of self-love and copious cupcakes. That is super needed on a planet that says we should be ashamed of our bodies.

But mostly, that shit is hot, which is kind of the point, no?

Disturbing Bodies.

This is my body:

Is it disturbing to you? Do you need a trigger warning before you look at it? Are you disturbed by the mere sight of me? Does that sound reasonable to you? Maybe it does. If it doesn’t, well, what about other bodies? Are those disturbing to you? Either way, if you think any disabled body, any body is so disturbing that it requires a trigger warning before folks even see it for 5 seconds, i have something to tell you.

Straight up? You’re wrong. There is nothing disturbing about my body. Not about my fat, my hairy ass, my doubly hairy big tits (which i chose not to show on here), any of my scars, the crutches i use to prop all that hotness up. None of it. And there’s nothing disturbing about the body of a man who has had a face transplant either. i didn’t require the warning i was given by telecasters tonight on the news, simply at seeing his face.

But that man did deserve respect, he deserved basic respect, and he deserved the space to just fucking exist. His face isn’t disturbing to me. Ableism is disturbing to me; ignorance is disturbing to me because it takes many dangerous forms and impacts real people’s lives in incredibly profound ways.

A trigger warning? Seriously? Think about that a minute. There are so many different kinds of bodies in this world, and i’m sorry, but can you just think for even one second what a fucking unbearable ordeal that dude has been through? A surgery that went on for a day and a half that completely replaced his face. That’s no small shit right there. And you want to prepare me? Perspective, people. Perspective.

Let me say it clearly: Disabled bodies are not disturbing. Ableism is. Please, check it at every opportunity.